...sense of...DISsatisfaction...

Just got back from yet another E.D. shift...i'm just really glad that E.D. isn't like E.R. we watch on telly. If that were the case, I wouldn't even haf mastered enough 'guts' to step in there to work through each shift... there's already enough struggle to get me motivated to go to work (my motivator is money for - guitar and training sessions, dog, rent next year or a house at some point, adding to that list, my 1st ever parking fine!!!)...more often than not, i walk out of the department thinking 'geeeeez, what have i achieved for the patients?' 'how much more indecisive and incompetent can i be?' ..... and 'how much more lies about myself can i tell those people doing interviews, trying desperately to 'sell' myself...

E.D. just isn't for me.... it can potentially be such a great big learning experience but so, is the opportunity just not presenting itself or am i subconsciously dodging all of them? or E.D. can simply induce the feeling that 6 years of med school hasn't even make me any bit more valuable to the E.D. than a volunteer who runs around chatting to patients, making them drinks...

it's one of those days...where i just wanna come home and find some consolation in a dog, MY dog... somehow i believe they just know without the need for words to be exchanged...

...here we go again...

that's right, here we go again *confession-3rd blog that i've started* no it's not that i've forgotten the passwords or that the page has dissapeared or anything like that, it's simply the lack of perseverance... just like many things in my life *sure hope guitars not gonna be added to that list of things*

-hAppy bElAted biRthdAy mIn and Group A loves ya- talking about min's bday, what a BIG BIG BIG night, no hair lighting experience this time, perhaps just a drunken sailor gait! It was indeed an eye-opening night for me! I have liver enzymes in me that are simply waiting to be challenged.... 1 cocktail and 3 shots in a couple of hours i reckon i've done pretty well for a relatively alcohol naive person... dare i add - had a few puffs of cigarettes too *i am soooooo glad my parents aren't brushing up on their internet skills*! well, pre and post-puffs came to the same conclusion - smoking just isn't my thing...but puffing ciggis out on my balcony with min n chi... highlighted the beauty of my small small balcony that overlooks a tiny-whiny-bit of the city...it was indeed a brilliant night, considering my mood post emergency shift was a little crap though i believe towards the end of the night i was abit emotional about somethings...(nah it's not about dogs that i soooo badly want)




-min chi & flower sparkler-









more to come i promise... perfect excuse to do this rather than something else like *finances-tax, salary packaging; or tidying up the never-dissapearing mess* when will i run out of excuses? never - exactly